Disappointed

I am finding that so many people in my life are either cowards or hypocrites.  I strive to be neither of those.  It really hurts when people tell me one thing and then refuse to step up with me in fear of hurting someone else's feelings.  What about me?  What about my feelings?  I guess because I'm "brave" my feelings don't matter.  Guess what, I'm hurt.  I hurt a lot.  I'm not even hurt by the hateful things directed my way in the last 24 hours.  I'm hurt by the silence.  The people too scared to back me up when they've told me to my face they agree with me.  There's NO EXCUSE for that.  NONE.

XOXO,

When you're right, you're right

"Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 5:10

Today I am proud to say I stood firm in my faith and was persecuted on behalf of the Lord.  Today I had the opportunity to accept and be silent or voice what I truly believe God would want, and despite fear, I did it and I'm proud even after all the ramifications and being truly hurt by close friends who did not defend my character because they did not agree with my opinion. (Though my best friends sure did when I needed them most).

Basically, I expressed my belief that it is inappropriate to allow a non-Christian to be the leader of a strongly-Christian affiliated organization.  I don't care if the person is a good, moral person.  If they are not a Christian, they should not lead a Christian organization.  This is not discrimination.  This is common sense.  I am sure a Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, etc group would not have a Christian leader if it were strongly religion-based.  Because of this opinion, I was basically called a bigot and treated like a pariah, by other Christians, including my friends.  I still do not understand their problem.  I was completely disrespected and attacked by "Christians" which was very hard being that I am someone who values respect very much.  I am glad to say that I maintained my integrity and demonstrated respect throughout.

People put words in my mouth and created their own stories in their heads about what I truly meant when suggesting that only a Christian should lead a Christian organization. They suggested I didn't think non-Christians should be allowed to join said group.  Never said that.  I think all faiths should be allowed to join a Christian organization. If you know me AT ALL, I'm about the most inclusive person in the world and avoid exclusion at all costs.  As Christians we should demonstrate Christ's love to everyone.  As the quote says, "You can preach a better sermon with your life than your lips."  I just think leadership should not be open to non-Christians in a CHRISTIAN GROUP.  I don't think this is such an outrageous idea.  

I mean, let's be honest... Jesus would want a Christian leading other Christians in Christianity.  That's not discrimination, that's the truth.

XOXO,

The Bedtime Diaries Conclude

So tonight, I bravely moved from the floor to the couch.  I was firm, assured Kailee that I'd check on her in 5 minutes and retreated to the couch.  She wasn't thrilled, but she stayed put.  I never went to check on her but I'm fairly certain she's asleep along with Gavin.

My goal for these two weeks has been accomplished!  Yea!

XOXO,

Twas the night before Easter

I cannot believe I gave up fast food for Lent and stuck it out.  The last time I ate any fast food, it was on February 21st, and it was Taco Bueno.  I have missed Taco Bueno and have been crazy-craving Jack-N-The-Box Tacos.  I will not have either tomorrow (we are having La Hacienda Ranch for Easter dinner) but I will likely have one of those Monday or Tuesday--we'll see how long I can hold out!

So much has happened over Lent that no one knows about because I've been off Facebook.  Here's a list of things that I would have put on Facebook, but could not:

1. Prayers for a former student who lost his younger sister to an unknown heart condition unexpectedly.

2. Kailee had the flu and I spent 4 days of a 5-day work week home with her.

3. Gavin is going to summer school to work on his reading, writing and math skills.  It's optional but I've heard great things about it.

4. Brady is out of town for 2 weeks (I'm sure I'll post all about that still this coming week)

5. 5 years ago last Sunday we had our horrible car accident, on the way to church, on Palm Sunday.  April 1st was Palm Sunday again this year.  This made me scared to go to church.  Sad, but true.

6. Last Sunday I had to call the paramedics for Kailee when she woke up from her nap making a strange sound when she breathed and grabbing at her throat.  Thankfully it was just croup!  I paid $150 to get a $10 steroid prescription at the ER.  I definitely do not like it when Palm Sunday falls on April 1st.

7. This week I put in much effort establishing a bedtime routine with the kids.  It's going great!

8. Major got mad that Brady was gone so he pooped all over Kailee's room one night while she was asleep in her bed.

9. Kailee currently has a double ear infection and sinusitis.

10. Gavin is getting so tall.  It really is freaking me out.

11. Brady and I saw Hunger Games.  Afterwards, when I asked if he liked it, he said, "It was good but they seem to have set themselves up for a sequel."  He missed the memo about the trilogy...

12. I read the Millennium Trilogy and LOVED all three books.  Brady watched all 3 Swedish films and I've seen the first.  When he's back in town we plan to rent the American version of the first.

13. I've been crazy obsessed with working out--more so than usual.  In fact, I should complete workout #70 tomorrow.

14. I survived the crazy tornados in DFW with approximately 50-60 students in my room.  

15 I got retweeted by Dolvett from The Biggest Loser during the tornado stuff!  He said we had his prayers :).

16. Brady and I cleaned out our entire house and reorganized with the help of my mom.

17. We got a maid!  I don't care that we are paying kind of a lot; I don't have to clean anymore!!!!

18. I had so much fun last weekend hanging out with the fam and hosting Leslie and Charlie here!

19. All the baby stuff is gone!  We are so glad that Leslie and Charlie's baby boy will be enjoying it all!

20. I would have wished happy birthday to many people I'm sure, including Morgan, Ramsey, Shannon, and Erika.

21. I would have congratulated people FINALLY announcing their pregnancies on Facebook, Leslie and Shannon.

I'm sure there's so many things I'm forgetting, but oh well!  Less than 4 hours until I can get back on there!  Exactly 3 hours and 53 minutes!

XOXO,

PS: Kailee is still awake as I post this.  Will I ever get off the hallway floor and be able to workout?

Bedtime Training Night 4 among other things in our life :)

Last night Kailee coughed a lot and ended up in her pack-n-play in our room at 3am.  Bedtime was successful though, which is what's most important.

Today, I took Kailee to the doctor (because her cough is still pretty bad, she's not eating much, and she's refusing to drink out of sippies--the sucking motion hurts if there's ear pain).  It turns out she has a double ear infection along with sinusitis, poor baby!  No wonder she's been super-fussy and not sleeping well.

Tonight we were a little late on bedtime--we did not head to the pharmacy to pick up Kailee's prescription until 8, making us unable to begin the bedtime routine until 8:40.  It is now 9:02 and both kids are out like a light.  Gavin protested a little bit, but was out within minutes of lying down.  Kailee took a bit longer, though less than 10 minutes for sure.

Brady is definitely going to appreciate the ease with which the kids go down now.  It's amazing how a little structure can change everything.  Now if only we could get past the terrible twos.  The doctor told me to give up on time out right now and just take away toys and whatnot.  So basically if she throws a book at my head (which likely will happen again), take it away.  If she hits, take away something else.  Time out will not be effective for awhile.  GREAT! 

XOXO,

UPDATE @9:38am (the next day) - The kids stayed asleep in their beds, in their rooms all night!  HOWEVER, both got up by 6:30am all cheerful.  Mind you, yesterday when I got them up at 6:30, neither wanted to cooperate at first.  I tried to ignore them but by 7 had to get up to feed them.  

Night 3 of Bedtime Training

To begin, let me just brag about the kids!  Last night, Kailee woke up about 9pm for some water but she went right back to sleep in her big girl bed.  Both kids slept all night in their beds in their rooms and Kailee even got up cheerfully at 5:50.  She would have slept longer but I discovered Major took out his anger about Brady being gone by pooping ALL OVER Kailee's bedroom.  I woke her up while cleaning it up.

Right now it's 6:59pm and Kailee is in bed.  We got home, ate, and then Kailee proceeded to throw fit after fit and hit, kick, punch, throw things at us to the point that the only option is to put her to bed.  She's SUPER-fussy and my patience is gone.  I kept her in time out for 10 minutes waiting for her to stop screaming (the doctor says the two minutes cannot start until she stops screaming) and she NEVER STOPPED.  I captured a picture of her intentionally gagging herself.  I'm ready to pull my hair out so I got her out only to have to take another 5 full minutes to get her to calm down.

This is my 2-year-old intentionally gagging herself in time out.  Can we say drama queen?

As I type, Gavin is watching TV in his room and Kailee is fighting her early bedtime by rolling around and sitting up.  We'll see how this goes...

XOXO,

UPDATE @8:19pm - I allowed Kailee to get up and watch some DoodleBops at 7:30.  At 7:50, we went through our new bedtime routine with protests from both kids.  As of 8:15, both kids were out.  Hopefully they stay out all night!

Night Two of Bedtime Training

First, let me start with an update over the entire night last night.  Basically, I was celebrating my success at 8:50pm when Kailee awoke with a horrible coughing fit--not the barking cough, just a regular old one.  She got very upset and would not calm down for about 20 minutes.  At that point I gave her the option of where to sleep and she chose her pack-n-play.  She proceeded to cough ALL.  NIGHT.  LONG.  I kept dozing off only to be awakened again by her coughing and crying.  Then I woke up low at 1:30am.  Needless to say, we were both a bit grumpy this morning, though Gavin was well-rested and cheerful as can be :).  That's the silver lining.

So tonight we had to do baths.  I started them at 7:15 to make sure we'd stay on track for getting in bed at 8.  We were waaaaay faster tonight (even with the bath) so both kids were in bed by 7:45.  It is currently 7:58 and Gavin is definitely asleep; unsurprisingly, Kailee is still stirring, though once she's out, she should sleep well.  The doctor gave the okay for her to have the cough medicine from when she had the flu a month ago while also taking the steroid for croup.  The sweetie-pie needs a good night's rest.  As I type, I'm watching her watch me.  Hopefully she's asleep by 8:30 so I can get in some me time and still go to bed early.

While I'm glad for the opportunity to sleep train, I miss Brady so much.  It's so lonely without him here :(.

XOXO,

UPDATE @8:22pm - Kailee took her time but she's asleep.  I'm hoping she sleeps better tonight having had cough medicine :).

When Brady is out of town...

It seems that whenever Brady is out of town, I find myself having to do some sort of sleep training for Kailee.  This time around, I'm doing it for both children.  We have gotten into the bad habit of allowing the kids to fall asleep watching movies.  Gavin is usually pretty good--he passes out on his own every night between 7 and 8:30pm.  Kailee is another story.  She often falls asleep in the pack-n-play in our bedroom at the foot of our bed.  She takes FOREVER to fall asleep!

So tonight, I decided to take us back to a bedtime routine.  We began at 7:30pm by going potty (or diaper changing) and putting on PJs.  Then brushing the teeth and reading 3 books (we each got to pick one, myself included).  Then they repeated a bedtime prayer after me, and off they went into their own "big boy" and "big girl" beds.

As I type, I am currently sitting in the hall outside both of their rooms so they can see I am still here.  This is more for Kailee than it is for Gavin because she turned on the waterworks.  I am hoping they both are asleep by 8:30 since I have to get them up between 6-6:30 tomorrow.  We have to be out the door by 7 in order to get Gavin to school on time without stress.

We'll see how this goes.  I have more patience for these battles than Brady does so I'm hoping to have us setup nicely with an established routine before his return on April 15th.

Wish me luck and pray for our success!

XOXO,

UPDATE @8:14pm - Both kids are snoring!  SUCCESS!  By the way, I'm scared to move from my spot in case I make too much noise and wake either or both.

This is what success looks like:

911 on Palm Sunday on April 1st for the second time

This afternoon, Kailee awoke from her nap making a scary sound.  With every breath, she barked, cried, and grabbed at her neck and throat.  It was the scariest thing ever to come out of her mouth.  With my mom's encouragement (she had just arrived at our house to drop off Gavin), I called 911 and two wonderful sets of paramedics came to Kailee's rescue.  The first came from the fire station a block away--so thankful for its geographical convenience--and another from a further station but who specializes in small children emergencies.  Naturally when they arrived, Kailee stopped the hysterics, though she kept making the barking sound when she coughed.  The paramedics offered to transport us to the hospital though they felt we could easily make it to the hospital to get her checked out for croup as long as we kept her calm.  My mom and Gavin accompanied us in my car--we felt the ambulance ride would have the opposite effect.

So off we went to Children's Medical Center in Plano (again, SUPER-THANKFUL there's one nearby).  Once there, Kailee ran around, played and acted 100% well.  She did get upset when they checked her out, and in her hysterics demonstrated the barking sound.  As we suspected, she was determined to have croup and was prescribed a steroid.  They told us it was common for children to have an attack of croup at home and then arrive at the hospital appearing to be well because the AC in the car can help the symptoms.  CRAZY.

Croup is caused by a viral infection and is a symptom typical in babies and toddlers--Gavin is in fact right at the age where kids are less inclined to have croup.  She's contagious while she continues to bark (though she's not barking as much anymore) or if she develops a fever, as long as the fever persists.  So tomorrow we'll be staying home--did I mention Brady is out of town?  Yep, Brady had agreed to keep the kids anytime they were sick for the rest of the school year.  Well... He's out of town for a military class for 2 weeks.  Of course that's when something would go wrong!  YaYa took Gavin home with her tonight to help us out.  This way, Kailee can sleep in.  Otherwise, I'd have had to get her up to get Gavin to school by 7:45.

Unfortunately Kailee cannot begin her steroid until tomorrow.  When I picked it up this evening, the pharmacist warned me that the number one side effect is hyperactivity and that there was a slight possibility that it would keep her up all night.  He strongly recommended waiting until the morning.  We will heed his suggestion.  

So hopefully tonight won't be too bad for my sweetie-pie.  The nurse told us to run a hot bath and sit in the bathroom for her to inhale the warm air as one option if the barking gets worse during the night.  In the winter, it is actually recommended to go outside and have the child inhale the cold winter air to reduce the swelling in the throat.  A good friend of ours told us that the icebox works just as well; I will keep that in mind if necessary since there's definitely not cold winter air in Texas right now.

In my life, I have made three 911 calls and this is the first I actually remember.  The others, I have ZERO recollection of being on the phone with the 911 operator.  I was in survival mode, with lots of adrenaline, and have no memory of any part of the calls.  I remember dealing with the emergency crews in person but not the phone calls.  The first was when a child I was babysitting was attacked by a dog and the other was when we had our horrible car accident exactly 5 years ago today, on our way to church, on Palm Sunday (it's Palm Sunday today, creepy coincidence).  Needless to say, Palm Sundays falling on April 1st will always make me a little bit leery.

XOXO,