The Terrible Twos and the Fabulous Fours

I don't know the date the colic began, but I do know our nights of endless screaming (5:30pm - 12:30am) ceased on October 15, 2009 (it was a Thursday and Roni, John and Jeremiah arrived in Dallas the next day for AC homecoming).  Since that date, Kailee has more than made up for the hard times.  She was a cheerful, easy baby until she became mobile.  Then she became TROUBLE.  We've always had to watch her more closely than Gavin; she's sneaky and quiet.  She's been a diva since birth but always knew that Mommy would not give in.  We've survived cry-it-out successfully on multiple occasions (Daddy had trouble sticking to it so Mommy had to retrain her a few times).  Just when things were beginning to calm down, The Terrible Twos struck.

They began on April 14, 2011 (yes, yesterday) with a long, drawn-out fit over not being allowed to take her toy stroller in the car.  She arched her back, kicked her legs, threw her head back and refused to cooperate as I forced her into her carseat.  She then got so worked up as I was driving that I thought she was going to make herself sick.  I pulled over to attempt to calm her down.  It didn't work that well.  By the time we arrived at school, she was composed but not warm towards Mommy.  She hardly looked at me when I left her classroom.

When I picked her up from school, she was happy to see me and eagerly went to Gavin's room.  That's where the trouble began: I wouldn't let her eat crayons.  Mean Mommy!  Kailee went from happy-go-lucky to enraged spaghetti-arms-and-legs baby in a matter of seconds.  I carried her out screaming, flailing, bucking her back.... It was not pretty.  This episode ended with me running back into the school to get a spare paci that I did not hesitate to pop in her mouth.  I openly admit that I was weak and gave in!  We didn't even take away her paci all evening.

Even with an all access pass to the paci, by the time Kailee went to bed last night, she had thrown 2 more similar tantrums.  Here is tantrum number 3, recorded in the car on the way home from helping Kalea and Matt move a piece of furniture (Well, Brady helped anyway).

This morning she had another meltdown over the stroller and then again when it was time to leave Gavin's room after school (nope, I did not let her eat the crayons once again).  It doesn't make a parent look great when s/he has to carry out a fit-throwing toddler 2 days in a row.  Thankfully, we avoided any more tantrum fun after getting home though Kailee considered having one over a water hose connector when we were leaving my brothers' house (By the way, it was great to see Lee, Alex, Holly, Joey and Nick)!

I don't know if we are quite ready for another round of the Terrible Twos.  With Gavin it was more like the Terrible Threes so we've only barely had a break.  It seems like he just stopped throwing fits when he didn't get his way.

Speaking of Gavin...  One of his teachers let me know that he had not been listening/following directions very well.  He also had begun head-butting again (an issue we dealt with last year).  We had been struggling with his lack of interest in following directions at home before this, but after diligent effort, things had been improving for us before his teacher notified me.  Gavin is on green most days (they have a traffic light system for behavior) so I assumed all was great at school.  Whenever he was on yellow or red, there usually was an incident.

I felt like our efforts at home were not successfully transferring to school so we sat down with Gavin and really talked about what was going on.  Gavin is a reasonable 4-year-old, but he is 4 and doesn't always think things through.  Whenever he wasn't listening/following directions, I pointed it out to him and reminded him what he needed to do.  He did have to serve some time-out sentences here and there, but he understood our goal and began to try harder.  Everyday this week, when I picked him up, he greeted me with "I didn't head butt today, Mommy!"  and when I asked if he'd listened and followed directions and he said, "Yes!"  Neither teacher disagreed with him so I'm taking it as the truth.  I am VERY proud of my little man.

While he was making efforts to do the right thing, I made efforts to praise him more.  Gavin thrives on praise, something I don't think I'm particularly good at giving.  I have made sure to acknowledge all the good things he's doing, and I can tell it makes him proud of himself.  I feel bad that I haven't been better about pointing out the good things he does.  I notice everything, I just need to make sure he knows I notice.

I am thankful things are improving with Gavin, now if we can just get our sweet Kailee back...